Behavioral Interviews: My Ongoing Challenge

Among all types of interview sessions, behavioral interviews have always been the hardest for me to gauge my performance and predict the outcome. Years ago, when I applied for mid-level positions, the questions focused on cross-team projects, mentoring, diversity, and constructive feedback. I didn’t have any real stories to answer those questions, so I made them up, and the positive feedback indicated I was a good nonfiction author and storyteller.

Now, applying for senior or lead positions, I have plenty of real-life stories, but the questions have changed. They often focus on mental health—not mine, but my colleagues’—how I recognize potential problems and help, and what I do to ensure everyone feels welcome and involved. The outcome is still unpredictable because I don’t have time to earn a psychology degree to answer those questions properly. Again, I’m left improvising stories and hoping for the best.

I’m still not sure how to improve my performance for senior or lead behavioral interviews, but I do know what would have made my life easier back when the questions were about cross-team projects and constructive feedback.

Advice for Authors and Storytellers

1. Prepare Four Core Stories

You need four stories that each cover a group of related questions:

Ambiguity and Demonstrating Agility

• A time when you had no clear idea how to act
• Changing project requirements or stakeholder expectations
• Overcoming a significant barrier
• Feeling close to giving up on a difficult task

Learning and Growing Continuously

• Working in a new or complex area, and why you had to learn about it
• Constructive feedback you have received
• The most difficult or challenging problem you’ve solved
• Developing a specific skill set after observing others

Conflict and Partnering

• A technical mistake you made recently
• A successful working relationship you built or developed
• A disagreement or conflict within your team
• Building relationships with global or remote teams

Communication and Building Inclusion

• How you communicate within your team and with other teams
• Deciding to actively seek out collaboration with a specific person or group
• Bringing new voices and perspectives into a decision
• Realizing someone else didn’t feel welcome or comfortable

2. Reuse Stories When Needed

If the exact question isn’t covered by your prepared story, you can say something like, “I don’t have an example about project requirements changing, but I do have one about overcoming a significant barrier.” Interviewers will most likely accept this example, as long as it addresses a similar behavioral signal.

3. Cover Multiple Signals in One Story

Interviewers must validate candidates against all signals without making assumptions. They can’t skip basic questions, and you can’t get more time, so the best strategy is to cover multiple signals in one story.

For instance, if you’re asked:

“Describe a time when you were close to giving up on a difficult task but decided to persevere.”

Instead of spending ten minutes on every detail, you can:

• Quickly explain the task.
• Mention a technical mistake you made.
• Explain why you were close to giving up.
• Cover the constructive feedback you received.

In the conclusion, tie it all together:

• You made a technical mistake and the project went in the wrong direction.
• You were close to giving up.
• You sought out feedback, received constructive input, and successfully delivered the project.

One of My Stories

At Company X, I had to implement and integrate a new widget into the confirmation page, which would suggest buying an “extra product.” The initial plan was to wrap everything in HTTP, CSS, and JS envelope that would display whatever the “extra product” team decided, essentially giving them full control.

I was concerned because the confirmation page has access to personal customer data. Allowing a team’s JavaScript to run with no validation could pose a major security risk. However, the “extra product” team was insisting on using this approach.

I asked my mentor for advice, and he suggested I validate my concerns with the SRE and Security teams. They agreed that my concerns were valid and concluded we could not implement this solution. I then organized a meeting with both the “extra product” team and SRE/Security representatives. We decided we needed a different approach, which I proposed, implemented, and delivered – albeit with a small delay. The end result was a secure, functional widget that didn’t compromise customer data.

Notice how this single story touches on multiple signals:

• Ambiguity and demonstrating agility (the unclear or changing requirements)
• Learning and growing continuously (validating security concerns through experts)
• Conflict and partnering (managing disagreement with the other team)

It usually takes about ten minutes to tell this story and answer any follow-up questions. All parts of that story actually happened in my professional life, but across different projects, teams, and companies. If that feels too much like “lying by omission” for you, this approach might not be the best fit. However, for many people, combining real experiences into a single cohesive example is a practical way to cover multiple interview signals without running out of time.

Saving Time and Reducing Stress

Once I merged multiple signals into each story, I noticed two things happen during interviews:

• We have time for more interesting or deep questions.
• Sometimes, the interview ends five minutes early, and I know that’s often a good sign.

I spent quite a while recalling past projects for all signals, only to realize they came from separate stories with unique contexts. Trying to use all those individual stories would be like using nested loops in a coding task when only one loop is needed – leading to a TimeoutException during the interview.

After a couple of successful behavioral sessions, I found I wasn’t panicking anymore. Instead, I began to see the interviewer as a potential manager or teammate and started evaluating whether I’d like to work with them. That shift in perspective greatly boosted my confidence.

Of course, this calm period didn’t last forever – eventually, I started getting invitations for lead positions, which meant re-crafting my stories all over again…

And that’s the essence of my approach:

• Recognize how difficult behavioral interviews can be—especially for senior roles.
• Prepare four versatile stories covering the main categories.
• Merge relevant signals into one story whenever possible.
• Use your extra time to discuss more meaningful topics with your interviewer.